Every couple has ups and downs, arguments, and compromises. A couple with poor sleep quality may argue more often and their relationship may suffer. It’s natural to feel grumpy, tired, and short-tempered when not getting enough sleep. Unfortunately, we take our bad mood out on those closest to us, our significant other. A sleep divorce could be a useful arrangement in regaining sleep but maintaining your relationship.
A lack of quality sleep can lead to some nasty health issues
What Is a Sleep Divorce?
A sleep divorce sounds extreme but it simply means married couples or couples living together sleep in separate bedrooms while maintaining the relationship.
Who Needs a Sleep Divorce?
A couple who sleeps separately may do so because there could be a lot of tossing and turning during the night, or one partner could be suffering from sleep apnea, causing the other to become sleep deprived. If you’re a light sleeper and your partner snores heavily, it will be almost impossible for you to sleep well. A lack of quality sleep can lead to some nasty health issues such as heart disease, diabetes, stroke, and high blood pressure. Sleeping in separate bedrooms could actually improve your sex life and boost levels of intimacy and communication in your relationship.
5 Signs you may Need a Sleep Divorce
1. Arguing More Often Because of Sleep Deprivation
Couples sleeping together but not sleeping will probably argue more often. A lack of sleep over a prolonged period of time will make most people short-tempered and grumpy. If you have to elbow your partner every night because they are snoring heavily, you will become sleep deprived and angry at your partner, causing arguments and strains in your relationship.
2. You Don’t Want to Go to Bed
If you would rather stay on the couch than join your partner in bed, or you feel anxious around bedtime because you know you won’t sleep, you may need to have a conversation about sleeping in separate beds.
3. You Take Sleeping Pills Every Night
Relying on sleeping pills or over-the-counter sleep remedies may not be a good long term solution for poor sleep. Sleeping pills can have side effects such as headache, feeling drowsy, nauseous, or vomiting. A more natural sleep approach with exercise, yoga, meditation, or sleeping in separate beds or bedrooms could be a more healthy long term solution.
4. Drinking Alcohol at Night
Enjoying a nightcap on occasion may not have any ill effects (apart from a slight hangover, perhaps) but if you’re relying on alcohol every night to help you sleep due to a restless partner in bed, your health will suffer from more than a lack of sleep. Opt for chamomile tea and a hot bath to relax instead.
5. Sleeping with the TV on in Bed
Electronic devices and TV in the bedroom can interrupt sleep patterns, causing insomnia and lack of quality sleep. If your partner snores loudly you may rely on a TV to distract you and help you sleep. But, the noise and flickering light are more detrimental to sleep quality and may cause you to become sleep deprived.
Potential Benefits of a Sleeping in Separate Bedrooms
- Improved intimacy
- Better sleep quality
- Better mood
- Enjoy a more comfortable mattress if you have different tastes
- Don't have to worry about being woken up late if partner works shifts
How to Approach The Conversation, and Sleep Divorce Strategies
Suffering from sleep deprivation can make you short-tempered. It’s best to broach the subject of sleeping in separate bedrooms when you feel calm. Have an honest conversation with your partner about how you’re feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally from your lack of sleep. It’s possible to adapt your sleeping arrangements that won’t hurt your relationship. You could sleep in different beds in the same room or sleep in adjoining rooms. It’s a delicate conversation and will take some getting used to but it could boost intimacy as both parties will enjoy the benefits of restorative sleep.
How to Sleep in Separate Bedrooms But Maintain Intimacy
Just because your partner sleeps in a separate room doesn't mean you don’t desire them or want a divorce. Choosing to sleep separately under the same roof could create a sense of longing as you will be without your partner every night.
To maintain intimacy when sleeping in separate bedrooms:
- Have a date night once per week
- Eat dinner together every night (even better to cook together)
- Hold hands while sitting on the couch watching a movie
- Take walks together to enjoy the fresh air and talk
- Take an interest in your panther’s hobbies
If you have filed for a sleep divorce and now sleep in a separate room, it doesn't spell the end of your relationship. In fact, sleeping separately can bring couples closer together as animosity from sleep deprivation is no longer an issue. It can ignite romance and intimacy as you miss them every night and can make you feel physically more energized and happy. Having your own bedroom allows you to upgrade your mattress and bedroom furnishings to your liking, creating your personal oasis of calm and rest. Ensure you get a big enough bed as you may end up with some impromptu sleepovers!